absence

i spent my day today in my father's little book.and i found some great statement from i-don't-know-who.it's written like this : in some points, something was born from an absence,
so, i started look at the nearest thing : my sweater.the sweater born because the absence of heat, and makes around us colder than usual, and therefore we need something to keep our body warm. 
second thing, Tupperware?born because the absence of human's ability in carrying their water to anywhere.and so on, i applied the statement to a lot of things in my room, and it was right, because we talked about someone's invention.
but then i change it into feeling
how's lust can born?jealously or greedy? it comes from the absence of what?
change it into something big
how's the universe can br created?i mean before the big bang theory?
from where The God comes?the absence of what?
okay.still in my head right now,  some points of what?i don't get it bro

the most shitty drama ever

So, this is not-to-surprising to be admitted as a fact but i do read a book.i started because i feel like such a loser when i know my bf loves to read.kidding deng.idid it because i found an easy way to practice my english,krikness overwhelmed.
and i have been wondered with this book

la metamorfosis de las mariposas espinillas.

is that a real book?

i already google it.but it's zero since i can't understand the language/

okay.i need someone.
sunday, lazy time around.don't know what to do.actually there's some list wait to be done, but the timing isn't perfect.u know it has been busy 
what do you call notso busy but there's still left must to do something feeling
okay complicated.
btw, i will have an exam in next weeek.it's not a big exam, but it seems i pretend i dont care again or i really don't care?i remembered when i receive the mock test schedule last year.i cried endlessly, regret, and said : how come i didn't pay attention to the school for all this time all oveer again until i fell asleep.well regret  comes later.sounds like i got mental sickness, well maybe yes i do
but for today, i don't caree at all, because i already decide that i'm gonna be a something that doesn't havve any relation with science stuff.but i'm not sure yet.the hardest time to make a decision for your future.
what will i be?art marketing?fashion marketing?life is so close to money, and far away to the funeral lately.and to deep to think in that way.for this time i just give an easy question : do something or no?

in

someone : why r u always dressed like that?
me : actually i rarely dressed like this.i just dressed like this if i want to meet u or some other peps.i love to let  someone to think like : i am behaving like my dress.sometimes, i do dress like a college student, or agirl who doesn't care with her look , or a nerd, and most of them trapped to this kind of trick.i try to leave different impression to different peps.and  actually it begins when i met a mother, she was taking care her child, and waiting for her driver to pick her up, we had a little chit chat,  i told her that i was taking my s1 in marketing and blabla stuff, she did believe that.and here i am now, i love to tricking peoples.i enjoy it.because most of them always judge from cover.so, when peoples busy with their opinion, i always change the cover to see their reaction or treat or etc.basically yes, i love all the people, i'm not hating the society.i love how their minds work.

i drink my hot tea after i took a bath, and then i listen to geographic channel.for what?exam on weds.hard to believe that i study-PEPS. I STUDY-.there's an attraction to force me to study, but my willingness still same, absolutely zero.So, rather than listen how to make a good breed for a cow, i opened my Norwegian wood and i think i must go to a new place, where i don't know anyone, make a new circle which it's hard to do.

#nowplaying passion pit - eyes as candles

i just downloaded it yesterday.SOPA action  has  been scared me  lately.

THE THINGS THAT POSSESSED MY CONTEMPORARY SOUL

WOLF PARADE ALBUM.APOLOGIE TO THE QUEEN MARY 

PINA COLADA

DANCE

THE OTHER THINGS ARE ; A HUMAN FACES SHAPED RING FROM DIA.LO.GUE KEMANG, AND THE DINO NECKALE, NAOKO FROM NORWEGIAN WOOD NOVEL BY HARUKI MURAKAMI, ALSO THE SONG BY THE BEATLES, THE CHOREOGRAPH FROM MY TEACHER, HOW REGINA SPEKTOR SING THE GHOST OF CORPORATE FUTURE, AND THE LYRICS, THE SLEEPYHEAD ACCOUTICS VERSION BY SOME PEPS THAT I DON'T KNOW AND THE PASSION PIT HIMSELF, COMPOSITION FROM SLEEP WALKING BY FINE FRENZY.

pergab

i was doing camp in cibubur.i noticed this bed and the fact that i'm good enough to not bring this bed to my home.So i can decorate, paint it, give ffluuufeh pillow and warm blanket to it.tehee --v

here, i'm trying to control my self-note : not just my emotion, or nightmares thingy, or whatever it is-

        emm i've been  still having nightmares 2 weeks in a row-not very sure it's 2 weeks- i always try to remember it after i woke up, but helplessly it just gone by itself.no memories left, just the emotions-rushy adrenaline works very fast- i'm not trying to dramatize the scene when i woke up, but after having those dreams.i'm feeling weird, like my spirit did the half life, it's hard to push your body to the bathroom, and hard to realize that this is today and i must go to school.
am i that lazy bastard?yes, yes i am.
        i didn't get any troubles with socializing with other people nowadays.but, i'm still green in this thing.actually it'sa  nice to gain friends to share stories with :) my family did the same good things to me.soon, we will move out, and papa promise me for my doc mart and other course.

wise crack on the morning

feeling not-so-productive again.in the down stage.